One thing that annoys me about most of the books I pick up on Witchcraft or Wicca is how many tools they say you need. How your alter should have a certain layout and how it should be filled with wonderous things that would leave a somewhat large gap in your wallet. So I tried doing it without all this but I felt like something was missing.

I don't believe that you need an idol to worship. A statue, a figure, prayer beads etc. In my opinion these are all props that shouldn't get in the way between your true connection with deity. When I'm out in nature, back against a tree, grass between my toes and water by my side I really need nothing to talk to deity or know that they are there. I do find it so much easier outside than I do inside.

Part of my developing my spirituality is trying to take time out each day to stop and meditate with deity, have a short prayer or just have something that connects me to that aspect of my life. I feel this will probably help me not stop within a month or so and get distracted by the next shiny thing that passes by. I had tried to this before but I found my mind wandered or I didn't have time etc. What I needed was something to be able to focus my energy on when I do pray or  want to connect.

So given that I can't afford to buy statues (which can be very pricey indeed), I thought - why not make one?

I saw a video on youtube last weekend by one of my favourite witchy channels and she had made some figures out of clay to go on her altar. I'm not very good with clay, I will admit, but I thought I would try something similar. Now to avoid me trying to make it with natural clay and end up painting it and making it a mess, I thought I would use Fimo polymer clay. It's something I had bought before to dabble in, when I figured out I'd done something wrong I gave up, then the next time I put it in for too long and I burnt everything I tried to make. But I wanted to do something, so I dug the Fimo out.

I started with the Goddess - I knew I'd have to mix colours for the God figure so the Goddess was easier in that aspect. I went with a very traditional shape - one which is a universal Goddess figure for pagans everywhere, and pretty easy to make. Once I had made it, and baked it I was pretty pleased with it. It wasn't perfect, far from it but it was mine, and the satisfaction I got from it was incredible. A small white figure I had made to honour the Goddess and it felt really good. I was really excited to make my God figure the next day.

Now the God is a tricky one. He's depicted mainly as a Horned God, and as my Patron is Cernunnos, this is something I wanted to depict in my figure. Generally there isn't a "simple" God figure. He's depicted as the Green Man mostly as a "simple" depiction but I wanted something to go with my Goddess, something that was similar. So I thought about it and came up with a dark green head, body and horns. The horns were the hardest bit to get right. I wanted to make them like Antlers and I am very pleased with how they came out. I made them separate from the body and glued them on after baking.

So here's my finished product!


Nothing fancy, simple figures that represent something I believe it!

I think making things for Witchcraft is brilliant. I feel like I have a personal connection to these given that I put my time, love and energy into making them. They are imperfect but perfect to me. Currently they are sat on my bookcase next to my witchy books as I lack an altar but I hope that will change in the future. I'd love to have a place to have my witchy things on, be able to use for rituals, spells or just daily devotion.

I am planning on making further things for my future altar, perhaps some symbols to represent the elements, a pentacle tile, any other suggestions welcome. Anything I do will be put on here, all witchy developments I'm going to blog about. I might also start a youtube Video blog but I'm undecided on that as yet. Will think about it over the weekend and again, keep you posted.

I do like that I'm feeling more confident in my beliefs though, and willing to put the time in to confirm them.

And now to finish on a chant I found on a website that I love.

I think everyone who reads this knows of my past love affair with a certain red haired musician, that waned over time as the blinkers came off and free thinking was once again allowed. Every so often my thoughts wander back there, thinking what if, and where I would be now if certain events hadn't unfolded. Still a faithful sheep?

I'd like to think not. I'd like to think that I would of found my freedom from her eventually, like waking from a dream where suddenly things make sense between the red hair, the desires for tea and love for Victorian madmen. Perhaps our separation wouldn't of been quite so abrupt, so damaging to me. I know her heart did not break when losing another sheep, I was simply lost to her. My heart was broken.

I have, however, moved on. I have embraced other aspects of my life and I've found a voice that I'm not sure I knew I had when I was hers. Ask me about something I'm sure to have an opinion, and I will happily voice it while listening to your views before agreeing to disagree and carrying on with whatever. I've been told that this is confidence. Me? Confident? Not a word I would ever have used with myself, not within the live beyond these HTML pages anyway. I hate asking at the counter for fish and chips, I always get someone else to do it instead. I don't like taking things back to shops, well, there's ebay for that anyway. I guess I think I'm the shy retiring type. But am I?

Over the last year or so I feel I have grown as a person. I have done so many new things and hope to achieve many more this coming year. Not to mention getting married, that must require some form of confidence and strength. But through my campaigning, my charity work and my own self development I have changed. I do not think for a moment that I would of achieved any of this while being her sheep. I like to think that in the nearly 2 years I have separated from her I have become what I would define as an individual.

What do I class as an individual? Someone with opinions. Someone who has developed their own sense of style. Someone who has developed their own sense of self. Someone who does things for their own interest, for what they believe, for their own personal development, to make them happy. I know there are a lot of stereotypes out there, and people believe they are sheep but within these subcultures are individuals. People with a unique view on things, with a unique opinion. Which makes them different from the person next to them.

Those in the fold (to carry on the sheep analogy) lack individuality. Which I think it somewhat ironic as followers of someone who promotes (along with hatred of men) individuality. All in uniform, following a set of almost commandments. Slowly becoming not just sheep, but clones.

A lot of these people are girls, and girls of a certain age where I feel self expression is highly important for becoming who you are going to be later in life. It's the time for discovering individuality and I feel this is being hampered. How can one seek ones individuality when they are being preached to by a broken record?

I guess this is why I am still angry. She is nothing more than a money making scheme, with sheep holding on to every word she so much as whispers, waiting (how ever long they have been waiting) for this fabled next album, the next shows, the next appearance, idea, however washed up. Blind to the fact they are being robbed in the most subtlest of ways, blind to the fact they are no longer themselves, no individual thought within.

Even for those who do escape. It's hard. The sense of loneliness and  feeling of loss. I admit, there is still a void left by the lives that have passed though, who I have laughed with, cried with, sought support with and loved. A few I still talk to, some are fading even now.

I still feel I am on my own path to being a "true" individual. I don't know how long it's going to take, but I'll let you know when I think I've got there.